Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. Florida Man is arrested for disorderly intoxication and lewd acts with historical statues.
While originally hailing from New Jersey, FIRE DEUCE frontman Cleveland Stever has become an honorary member of the infamous “Florida Man” alumni whose esteemed members include the guy who killed his imaginary friend, the guy who called 911 after his cat was denied entry into strip club and the guy high on flakka who broke into jail to visit friends. Stever joins the ranks after waking up in a Tampa area jail cell for dangerously excessive drinking and defiling a monument. Fueled by the reckless pounding of White Claws combined with unrelenting humidity, an embarrassingly impressive lack of self-control and as he states, “for being too goddamn patriotic,” Stever finds himself at the wrong end of the law, and as a result has to raise bail money before he’s shanked.
Facing time in the slammer and increased pressure from the suits at his record label to recoup their money he spent on White Claw, Stever has abandoned all self-respect and what’s left of his dignity for his next record. Knowing firsthand that playing metal and rock pay squat these days, he’s revived FIRE DEUCE and is jumping on the country-pop bandwagon.
Now, FIRE DEUCE has released a video for his first single, appropriately named, “White Claw,” which recounts both Stever’s love of that sweet, sweet hard seltzer and his misadventures that landed him in all this bullshit in the first place. View it now before the cease-and-desist letter is sent.
“After one sip of the delicious magic potion they call “White Claw,” I decided to dip my toes in the country music scene. I ended up teabagging that bitch with an anthem of hope. It sounds nothing like the groundbreaking metal you will hear on the “Lords of Diesel” EP, but it is still a masterpiece for all the ages. The label insists sharing this video with all of you helps me out, so put it on repeat so I can enjoy sweet freedom again!” – Cleveland Stever
“I personally had no idea about Cleveland’s dip into the country music scene until we stumbled on this video. Amazingly enough, it’s not so bad. Every note emanates a cash grab, and you can clearly see it was the beginning of the inevitable bender that landed him in jail. All that aside, it’s a pretty good song about a tasty low-calorie beverage. Please share it with all of your family. Tell them to enjoy a tasty “White Claw” as they watch. All the views we can get helps him out of the hole. Next Friday, the song will become available for streaming and the presale for the “Lords of Diesel” EP will go up as well. I just want to get that piece of shit out so he can get Evil Ink paid off, play the cruise, and then get lost.” – Travis Stever (Known acquaintance, Coheed & Cambria guitarist)
FIRE DEUCE’s new EP, Lords of Diesel, will be released on January 10th. Pre-orders for the EP are available now at www.EvilInk.com.